Blake had dead eyes as he stared at the sky streaked with orange.
Empty and off, chained to their natural, glowing, green.
Hidden, as always.
sighed closing his eyes as the light breeze ruffled my hair. Michelle had dragged us out of the house, there was forced to leave the reassuring warmth of poisonous Villa.
It was the first to set foot outside the house, after the death of Jared. He had gleaned the little 'courage that was left, and head held high, he faced the sun, people, eyes.
too painful to be afraid of the meetings of the situations. Places. Too desperate to continue to think reasonably.
was out in the hot sun, he opened his mouth and swallowed the dirty air of the city, to that sea polluted and ruined.
Ben was sitting not far from me, in the hands of my classical guitar, the sand under my bare feet. Dispensed in the air sweet notes, the chords of my favorite song. Meandered in the air and had never done so badly.
seemed dead also, they seemed far too distant to be touched by me, to change something in my life. Or those of others.
In that Blake, who was barely alive. That he was off like a star falling from the sky, too weak to continue to shine.
yet had never been better. No more looking at that very moment, while the light waned and he was between my legs, her head on my right shoulder and my fingers to scroll through your hair.
It accorded perfectly with that environment, my friend. He seemed to feel the same pain of the sun, which floor, against his will, left hemisphere, he withdrew to heat our lives.
seemed to abandon himself to defend those he loved as he had always done.
was falling to pieces and I fail to act, without knowing how to stroke it, not knowing how to hold it up.
His eyes were wide in the warm light, too true. It is too biased.
Enigmatic.
drowned in a pain too thick. Free died in a coveted and painful, that did not come, who took only small parts of him, hand in hand.
Plan. Like a slow torture.
flew in the skies without stars, the eyes of Blake, with broken wings but to surrender to the wind too strong, too weak to resist until the end of that journey.
was a contradiction continues, with him. Especially in that last period. He no longer talked about that day, merely murmured greetings. Touched only ingest food without ever.
not listened to music, not watch movies, not read. He stood motionless. Static.
Dead.
is merely to exist, to respond when he was asked.
and panic had started to fill my throat, my head. Because I knew that he could not save and in the meantime I broke the nerves trying to do.
sighed, taking the load too big for that subtle body in my arms. About me.
not touched anybody, Bee. Remained close a me tutto il giorno, nascosto dietro le mie membra minuscole, come se fossi effettivamente uno scudo per lui.
E forse era anche vero. Perché nessuno faceva del male a Blake se io potevo evitarlo, e ultimamente la cosa stava diventando abbastanza facile.
Con Ben, perlomeno. Michelle era un altro paio di maniche, lei non si rendeva conto delle pene che faceva patire al suo fratellastro piangendo sulla sua spalla, costringendolo a consolarla, mentre lui avrebbe avuto solo bisogno di lasciarsi andare. Di urlare, magari. Di affondare le unghie nella carne e sostituire il dolore psicologico con quello fisico.
And I came into play when Chelle seemed determined to find refuge in Blake, I stood between them.
cushion the blows aimed at Bee diluting them with my strength.
A force that was slowly leaving me.
And there was enough strength, even to dress in purple, to wear my bracelets and studded with black makeup. There was no force to respond wisely to the insinuations of mine, all Baltea.
There was no desire.
There remained only the void, and tears. And the desire to sleep without waking up again.
But you could not.
And I stayed to watch the fracture of our lives that would have permanently destroyed.
That thin line dividing what was and what would not ever again.
and try not to say that it was too late to bite the words on the tongue. It bled to death.
to leave them just a false memory has faded.
and try not to ask Jared to come back, trying not to turn to God that I had never really known. What was there, above our heads and do not hear our cries.
Try not to drown the whole, to lighten my position, my mind. Eyes.
memories.
I emptied of photos, songs and books. I threw away my weapon only to resist, very weak.
For one last flight, despite its brevity.
To touch the clouds by the hand and take away the wind, go with it.
"It would be so easy to jump and die." Blake jumped when he spoke aloud. Clearly, enunciating all the sharp words. The letters and accents that jumped on the skin and purple bruises left.
Buttons and painful.
I let my hand slip down from her hair and get her, hold her.
"You think Jared would be happy, Bee?" I said calmly, I knew the pain that I was arranging, but it was necessary for everyone. To return to open my eyes though, around, everything was dark.
"No. But if you want me? "The voice broke on the first-person pronoun. She pressed closer to me as my breath quickened. I shook my head and smiles in the world, in that air that tickled sparkling eyes and dry lips.
And that sunset that showed no signs of ending, which seemed to go on forever. To enlighten us some more ', to keep us company for a few more minutes.
What was still there in its wonder. The sun cast golden rays behind us and the color of blood on the calm sea.
glows red hair Michelle, standing on the shore, their feet lapped by the sea of bitter tears and salty.
sharpening the profile of Benedict, who still played the song gently. With slender hands and eyes lost in the silence of blacks music.
hugged me and Blake, allowed me to incorporate them and defend him from all the world and life.
"Will not you, Blake. So do you. You're too young to run away, "I assured him, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
"I do not think it's too old to bear it, Ana?"
It was probably right. But his bones were strong, as much as mine. They had always brought him more weight than they should.
It had not broken, ever.
The old memories of those lives that seemed endless, which followed each other relentlessly, like waves, trying to drown, do not count. Had the desire to taste everything.
to do harm to anyone who was killing him.
That desire to die for our hands.
"No, Bee. We are children too, perhaps, not too old. And in front of us is leaving, not too far away. Maybe we will not ever, maybe we'll get there. But what sense does it stop running now? Old age can prevent you from trying them all? Old age can not dictate. Not for us. "
I saw him nod and a smile just colored it touched her lips, her pale face.
"Thank you. I already knew, deep down, I could not give up, but I needed to hear me say, I think. "Chuckled and passed his arms around his chest, holding it to my like a child.
"I go to smoke?" Michelle was back on us, serene expression on his face gaunt, her long hair in the wind. The bright eyes, the sun set in the heart and fall in the eyes.
Ben turned his head to us that stopping harrowing litany of agreements sweet.
smiled and joined us. Bee straightened up a little as the joint slipped off the hands of Michelle thin, his eyes half closed as he pulled a long breath and exhaled smoke.
handed it to me immediately and I let her slip into her mouth savoring the effect. That subtle euphoria that surrounded the head after you. The smoke in the lungs burned and left a burnt taste.
And not only burned my tissues or those of others.
burned the memories that hurt too much.
Jared and his face burned, his hands too long and weak. Her face pale and good.
The holes in his veins.
His funeral.
burned everything I still could not bear the ashes left by the time we took back for a few seconds.
few happy moment.
Ben chuckled as he passed Michelle in the barrel. I looked at him inquiringly, smiling.
"I thought," he said, "that is extremely ironic that we are here to drown his sentence in a barrel while Nate broom somewhere."
Bee joined in our laughter. Avoiding thinking about really injustice being vile that it was actually Nathan.
does not matter.
Why another period was ending, because another gap we had scored.
Why climb was about to begin a new, different, self-destructive.
and we were all aware, that this time we would be clubbed to death with our last strength.
and excitement in the blood flowed that night. While the first drug was divided between us in the form of white pills and white, that coagulates the dreams, they removed to leave the horizon open.
And the dance began.
Dance of death of life.
deeper of the delusion.
Dance of drugs consumed veins. Laughter sick and wrong.
of songs that they knew of perdition and perversion. Sounds obsessive, and anxiety, sensual and psychedelic.
Guitars that cut ties with what we were after.
Michelle Blake laughed and danced around him. Ben was next to me looking at the stars.
The sunset was gone, had left us.
Why we chose the night, the pale moon that did not care to enlighten us. We had chosen her cold indifference.
The light that gave illusions of smoke, airborne around.
As smoke from a campfire with a guitar improvisation by hundreds of dollars.
That gave blinding flashes.
As the screams I ate the night while the dance was raging around too fast and broke the legs to follow.
feet sorrowing and stepped on shards of glass, shattered dreams.
bleeding and without mess.
Without that we are interested.
has become part of that darkness that night. An integral part of that foundation and that black night was our mother.
What we had born in the dawn of suffering. That would have impacted our case with this one.
And the butterflies were not flying around as we were dying if you get too close.
Our flame was corrosive, the wings of moths.
Our flame burned us alive but it did not matter.
because the night was ours and the sea was there, watching us. As a huge tear on the edge of the pupil of the eye that hid the sun.
Tears of which did not care at all. We helped shape us as well.
and remains the dust in the air, dry throat and scratched, with reddened eyes. To increase the pace of the steps.
it into jerky.
And we soared, losing bone.
leaving blood, flying higher, with the fear that our wings would burn.
We flew until the medicine worked, to find ourselves exhausted and sweaty in the darkest hour.
on that deserted beach that now had the taste of home and refuge.
We stood there, eyes and mouths too wide around that still longed a bit 'of that air sweet, we had tasted in the wind, to meet the sky, just steps from the most beautiful star.
"If one day we were to separate, guys, you have to promise to dance for the fun of it. That because you sing the voice of angels. You must swear that your skin will never be soiled by these wounds that we carry on him already. You should never look back, because there's just this damn darkness. You must not think of others. Someone will be dead, someone will not be strong enough to go it alone. But this does not mean anything. Go ahead, if one day we will have the opportunity to do so. "
And the arms still bleeding, still bleeding, the wounds of those words that just grazed the veins without cutting and end everything.
wrists are still torn.
But the smell is around that of blood.
It was also then, when Ben was talking about a future that was a promise useless.
While the tears streaming down her face and we did not have the strength and willingness to stretch out to touch him, to comfort him.
because death is perched in the chest, the dancing around the void.
And the dance could not be stopped once started.
And we were there, too fragile and dancers minutes.
Dancers in the dark.
0 comments:
Post a Comment