Jaysen - Dream Sister .
The streets of Philadelphia at night were almost scary. The street lights looked like big yellow eyes fixed on reality, to obscure the beauty of darkness, to light fears buried along the miles of asphalt. Alex stood motionless in the passenger seat beside me. One hand on my limp left on the exchange.
A hand clutched for support, and stop.
Oxana had called me about ten minutes before and had a witty voice: Michelle was in the hospital and she knew nothing of his condition. Nothing. Why had left in the waiting room with Ben and the silence he had swallowed. And Baltea had prevented him from approaching the girl, to move those chairs until further notice. Only Blake was inside with her.
My throat clenched again.
Only Blake.
Blake .
And there was the certainty that he going to make it to be near her in a moment like that, that he himself would have made it through there at that time. That his hand would look like if only minimally to that of Alex, so warm and strong. Much more than mine.
"It'll be fine," he said. Without hesitation, I had just triggered the slide of the phone. With his dark eyes fixed on mine. And he smiled, taking my hand and leading me to the car.
Alex was a baby, had just turned twenty-five and she was married. In a huge empty white house next to my studio. He spent most of the day with me in the waiting room when I was involved in some patients. I helped with the work, if he could. She talked to me, if she wanted. Hold me when I needed it.
And I think that I would not have survived if her life had not been there, near, in the heat of an immature body.
Alex had hazel eyes, soft and liquid. Alex was great, and it was my wife.
My wife even as his heart beat against his chest, to go back to Michelle. Even while I had a quick caress her, even while the mind tells the unique touch of my lips and those by Chelle.
It was always my wife. And maybe I should thank the Lodge for her. For having given me for choosing someone so vital .
"Jay, honey, everything will be fine," he repeated, as my eyes stopped in the mist of the road full of traffic, while gently supported without the red traffic light meters ahead.
"And if you die?" And say it would open the flesh and plug the veins. The blood was flowing to the brain and let the tears invade the throat before the eyes, it became inevitable .
I turned toward her slowly sinking into her serene gaze, the slight smile on his lips full. Alex tilted his head toward the right shoulder, ran a hand through his curly hair and squeezed my stronger with each other.
"Why should he die, Jaysen? He 's young, is strong. It 's just so weakened now. It will pass. You'll be fine, "he leaned to kiss her cheek while traffic was moving slowly. To pounce.
sighed and shook the wheel stronger, I shook my head up. In order not to rock the world even stronger.
"Michelle is not strong, Alex. Nineteen, and bulimia, has a horrible family behind, "I blurted out more violently than I wanted.
My wife shook her head and chuckled softly.
"Jay, I am convinced that you have an idea Chelle's completely wrong. It is not a child, you realize this, right? He dealt with the strength of her only bones fragile things that we can not even imagine. Yet it survived until now. For her, for Blake, the other kids. And for you. I think if you decided to leave her alone - leave really not survive. Maybe it would be already dead. But you're there, in his life: it is enough to get by, "the voice quickly changed his tone, a bit acid staining. A pain for a love she never would have known.
'E' enough for her, but not his body. Since when did you see it? From the marriage? It 'still lost weight, you just have to skin her. I'm not sure we can make it this time, "I muttered. I pressed the accelerator.
And Alex the truth seemed easier to deal with. The pain, as well. I found the courage to condense into words my nagging fears, my paranoia. And my love, so hidden in the folds of life, past, present and future.
"You are too pessimistic," she said and turned on the radio, on my favorite station.
was the one who really knew how much she cared for me as a brother to be pampered, because it could not hurt to untie me from having the freedom to embrace me as just a friend can do.
gestures and transformed them into sounds and abstract images, which are difficult to grasp. But true.
Like the coffee in the morning, when the strength to get out of bed and wear a mask sewn onto the skin was not there. As the music in an evening where the world seemed to turn slowly exhausting, and I just wanted to run. And falling. E rialzarmi. E riprendere a correre. E raggiungerla, finalmente, Michelle.
“Porca puttana. Questo cazzo di traffico!” la voce si alzò di tono senza che me ne rendessi conto. Sfilai la mano da sotto quella di Alex bruscamente, la passai sulla fronte sudata, scostai i capelli dagli occhi.
“Ti stai agitando per niente”, scandì Alexandra. Si sistemò meglio sul sedile, passò la mano sulla gonna per distendere le pieghe della seta nera che le copriva le cosce, fino al ginocchio.
“Sei that you're too quiet. And 'normal agitate, prick. Do you realize that could really die, yes? You realize it or are you too busy to sink within yourself to realize what's going on? Christ ".
Alexandra stared at me a second, then smiled.
A little 'killed me, as always, in those moments. Why could read in and always knew what to say - which image to choose. And that of his empathy was the most appropriate at that time.
He gave me shoulders and began to establish the psychedelic lights of the city on either side of the road, people walking in the cold. Some smoked, some were holding hands. Someone was alone, someone was laughing.
A woman stared at the car look hopeful. Waiting for something - someone.
Alex bit his lip, looking at her.
"Sorry, sorry." Alex did not answer anything.
She had dyed red hair falling around shoulders, tight on his head a cap of white wool. Clutching an envelope his arms and his lips trembled with cold, under light makeup. Between the ages of thirty and forty-five years, signs of stress and anxiety. Anxiety.
swallowed.
The hospital is dangerously approaching our view, the woman disappeared behind us plan. With its silver envelope and wrinkles around the eyes sunken.
took drumming his fingers on the skin of the wheel of the black Porsche that I had given the Baltea marriage to Alexandra. A beautiful car, of course. Still smelled new.
Empty.
I should at least buy an air freshener hanging a picture of myself and Alex somewhere. Leave some file in the back seat. Customize it.
Yet it seemed so perfect - so black and flat.
My wife hated her with all my heart, refused to use it for its short trips in town and had forced me to buy a family car. A red toy car, so at odds with its elegant shape and the clothes.
So perfect for his age and his eyes. The fellowships that the University had decided to attend.
"You want to get off too?" I asked, parking space provided in the hospital, including two cars common. Alex looked at me angrily.
"do you think? It 'also my cousin, you know, "he muttered and opened the door, standing on his heels and thin dizzy. I waited on the other side, clutching the black cashmere coat.
I smiled when I joined, slipped his arm under mine.
"I know, you know, you hate me," he said, as the sliding doors let us pass.
blinked against the light and sterile white del'atrio private hospital. There were very few people. The secretary looked up at us.
"Can I help you, gentlemen," asked polite. The voice was tired, a little 'hoarse. Tired and worn out. Alex nodded while I froze the blood.
We were almost there. We were there.
Michelle was there, half dead.
"We are relatives of Miss Michelle Trachtenberg, should be here," explained the girl next to me with his precise and fluid ways. He rested his arms on the white marble bar secretary, unshackled from my limp arm.
"Yes, Miss, is treated here. I ask your names? A matter of privacy, "the woman grabbed the computer mouse that was in front taking the heat with a click.
"Of course. Jaysen Taylor Malcolm Taylor and Alexandra Armstrong. We are the grandchildren of Mr. Andy Trachtenberg, "provide all relevant information, like that used in interrogations. When you had to do with the Loggia learn to behave like a movie thriller.
She typed our names smiled warmly and nodded.
"Sit down as well, room 103, seventh floor. The lady is resting, "he informed.
I felt a sudden heat to color the face and invade his hands. I sighed in disbelief, Alex took my hand and led me to the elevator.
"I told you," she smiled as we entered the elevator. I shook my head as her lips stretched into a pale imitation of his relief.
"You could not be sure," I said. She laughed lightly.
"You're unbelievable," plan and said he relaxed in his dark clothes.
I stared at her with gentleness. Why the anger came after more tenderness, with Alex - after all other feelings, came the tenderness.
"Alex, I do not hate you. You know, "I said, put his arm around her waist, in the gray of that lift.
"I would not want to hate me. But am I keeping you from being happy in the end, "he clarified and smiled again. That smile that I loved with all Myself, I hated the night when I could not make love to her.
"I do not hate you", I said sure. I just went to brush his lips with mine. Alex sighed as I stroked her cheek on my mouth.
He opened his big eyes, bright.
"I need, I need this," he said.
And plans change, slowly. And no one called the lift. And we loved each other without haste, without fury. To warm bodies.
And Alex was breathing on my neck, her hair on my face, hands tight on the sides thin, her legs around his waist.
No hiccups, in love that love really was not - in the sex that sex would never have been. A smile from Alex, the shadow on my own. The nails embedded in the flesh, skin. And the sweat on the eyelids, the colors mixed in the mouth. Between languages.
The rapid breathing, stuck in orgasm.
"Thank you, Alexandra whispered combing your hair with thin fingers. I shook my head on his chest.
"Thank you," he said. Alex smiled and the laughter came soon after. "Can we do this only in the elevator?" I also chuckled and lifted me up.
"I think we should try the extreme sex," I declared riabbottonandomi shirt. Alex turned his back to let me raise the zip of her skirt high waist. I caressed the sides again.
"We might try the S & M or something like that. " I winked at hooking a bra.
The sadness of those acts was always in delicate beauty of its forms, of her voice and her womanhood - woman with tears and pleasure. I went to kiss her again, gently, letting his tongue was to manage the rhythm and pace.
"Can not we try to love?" He sighed, leaning his forehead against mine.
"We can. But do we want? "Alex shrugged, slipping arms in the sleeves of his coat.
"It 's just that I seem to live in an endless winter."
"I have never said that life is good in winter as in spring? Just love yourself. " The girl looked at me in silence for a second, then smiled, looking down.
"We can do it, right? I love you so much. "
" Me too, Alex. "
The elevator doors opened on the seventh floor. The corridors were white and silent.
"I'm disheveled?" Asked Alex. I shook my head.
"You're perfect".
walked in silence to the room 103. My heart was scalded in the throat, the courage to open the door slid away from the veins. Alex tapped his fist on the wood for me. The handle is down almost immediately and Andy appeared, pale in his dark suit.
"Hello, uncle," he greeted my wife, pass it and executing it without exchanging other pleasantries to the bed across the room.
Andrew stared at me hard - a warning in his eyes. I nodded, without even bothering to fully understand what not had to do this time.
Because in the end it was easy.
Basically I just had to avoid touching - love his daughter. With hands and eyes.
Michelle was awake, eyelids Heavy dropped a bit 'extra irises on very clear, his hair disheveled.
"Hey, Chelle," goodbye, paired with Alex. The girl blinked slowly.
"Hey, did faint.
"Michelle is fine, just needs to learn that food comes only from the mouth. Do not leave, "Ben interjected. And he succeeded in his aim, the atmosphere lightened. Michelle smiled, Andy and his wife snorted. Alex laughed and I got lost among the people in my life. Among the various photos, sudden bursts.
Oxana was sitting in a corner, with a childish pout on his face.
"I have not included, because I almost fainted with her. It does not seem adequate reasons, however, "he snapped, when he became aware of my gaze.
chuckled and went back to hook up the sleek look of Michelle.
not we turned over the floor all evening.
But that was fine.
Why there, with the monitor attached to the heart of Chelle - certainty that beat still, after all, was warm.
And my heart beat slow.
The smell of Michelle was in the air. The boys were sitting on the floor and the radio was tuned to Ana to a channel of classical music.
I stood beside the bed, with a little 'more peace of mind. With confidence that it would end the same way - with the same people.
With a heavy jacket on his shoulders and a gold chain around his neck.
And Alex's hand on mine.
NDL.
So people, this is my late Christmas present. I felt we hit for not having contributed very actively to the gifts. So here.
^ ^ Then, I wanted to tell you that the other day I could almost write an entire chapter of * new * AS ^ ^ Of Session 3, in fact. And no, I'm so happy. ^ ^
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